Alex in Adultland

Got to love Martin Luther King Day.  Yes, in part because of his pioneering efforts for civil rights, but even more importantly, because I get a three day weekend.  

For lunch I tried out a maple syrup and balsamic roasted Brussels sprout dish, in honor of the latest stage of my diet, now allowing cooked vegetables and brown rice.  To give the dish some consistency, I also roasted some kale.  You have to cook the two things in separate pans though, as the sprouts take a much longer time to cook then kale (didn’t stop me from burning the kale anywayz).  To lessen the calorie count, I tried to be heavy handed with the balsamic vinegar.  So, it came out like this:

1 cup sprouts

2 cups chopped up kale

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 tablespoons maple syrup

5 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

It wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t right.  After several hours of napping and Will Ferrall movies, I was only to happy to get a text from my newest man friend, who we will call the Actor.  The Actor waiters at a restaurant on the corner of my street and was just getting off work.  So, I went and picked him up from work and off we frolicked to the General Greene, where I ordered the sauteed sprouts and mushrooms.  I basically orgasmed over how good they were and lamented my own, which didn’t come out as I wanted them to.  ”Well,” The Actor asked me, “Did you roast them in olive oil?”

“Yes.  Duh.  I’m not an idiot.”  

“Then did you saute them in butter?”

“No, I’m on a diet, I’m not eating dairy.”

“You’re eating dairy right now, dear.  They saute those in butter.  That’s how they get them to taste like that.”

Well, goddamnit.  Hence began my new quest to make the most delicious, dairy free brussel sprouts ever.